You Might be a High Tech Redneck If...
     
1. Your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com".
     
2. You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page".
     
3. The bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop".
     
4. Your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson".
     
5. You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
     
6. Your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT".
     
7. Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
     
8. Your wife/husband said "either (s)he or the computer had to go", and you 
   still don't miss her/him.
     
9. You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.
     
10. You ever refer to your computer as "Ol' Bessy".
     
11. Your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, 
    or farm animal.
     
12. You start your e-mail with the words "Howdy y'all".
     
13. You would rather swap your old wife for a new pig then swap your old PC 
    for a new Mac.
     
14. You consider your teeth to be scuzzy devices (SCSI).
     
15. Your Caller ID has Betty Sue, Jim Joe Bob, or Sally May stored in its memory.
     
16. You have Call Forwarding to the barn.
     
17. You can fix a network problem in a heartbeat, but you'll be damned if you 
    know what the hell is wrong with any of your three refrigerators.
     
18. Token-ring refers to either your computer network or your wife's wedding band.
     
19. You have any of the following links in your "down home page":
    The 4X4 WEB PAGE
    NRA.org Home Page 
    Farm Journal Today
     
20. Your computer's error message says "Y'all Recon (Yep/Nope)".
     
21. You start conversations on the cell phone in your truck with "Breaker 1-9".
     
22. Your family tree looks like a thin ethernet network.
     
23. A 14.4 modem is too slow, but a third-grade class is too fast.
     
24. You compare learning vi to wrestling a greased pig.
     
25. You buy a 50" big screen TV just so the fish you caught and videotaped 
    look larger.
     
26. Internet dating is your ONLY hope.
     
27. You have four or more antennas on your truck.
     
28. Your wife uses a microwave to do her hair.
     
29. Your computer mouse can carry the plague.
     
30. You use the CD drive as a cup holder for your beer.
     
31. Your pager has more memory than your whole family put together.
     
32. Your family has ever had a feud over which internet provider to use.
     
33. You have created a computer virus just by breathing on the monitor.
     
34. You use the term "fishing" or "hunting" instead of "surfing" the Net.
     
35. You have more phone lines than you have teeth.
     
36. SimFarm is your favorite computer game.
     
37. You had to move at least one old tire to make room for the new 18" digital 
    satellite dish on the roof of your house.
     
38. You have to milk a cow to make Cafe Latte.
     
39. You can't spell your name but you memorized the full http link for EVERY
    web page that contains nudity.
     
40. You can't get your web browser to work.  Your son then tells you to
    use PPP, and you urinate on the computer three times.